A few years ago I used to be in the choir at church

And during one rehearsal a fellow chorister asked me

‘Why do you look so lost when we are worshipping?

You look like you are not here.’

I don’t quite remember the response I gave her …


Dear Baby

At 29 years I have made enough mistakes

Than I can ever hope to admit.

And through the mistakes I realize I have been untrue in many ways

especially through my actions than my words.

But In all my sham and though my failures

My many pretenses to prove I’m strong when inside I was fainting

Through days I acted like I had myself together when I was breaking

The many times I have laughed when I had cried my insides out the night before,

Even moments I have advised friends on things I hadn’t myself proved I could achieve..

In all my lies, through all my mistakes

Through the things that have caused me shame

One thing I never ever want to be a front or a sham is my worship to God.

And I hope you can carry this in your heart

That before your God you will be your truest self

Breakdown when you are broken

Admit it when you are tired

Scream when you are frustrated

And confess your dire and deepest sins, mistakes and shortcomings

Trusting that his grace is sufficient to restore you

And so when you stand before God, whether it’s in a room full of other saints

Whether it is alone in your room

Whether it’s at a crossroad when you need a way

Or whether you are sinking in the valley of the shadow of death

Present your truest and unfeigned self and emotions towards Him

And as you live your life transparently before Him, acknowledging Him as prime,

Recognizing His supremacy and Lordship over your life and giving gratitude for who He is ,

And recognizing how ludicrous life will be without Him,

Your life in itself will be a worship to Him that people may not understand when they stand by you

Because you will carry His presence and your worship will be to an audience of one.

And even when you faint, or your legs give way sometimes (which will happen)

Your restoration will in turn brew a deeper love and a more sincere worship.



I’m smiling at how

After more than 2years I still can’t remember half my lecturers names🤷🏽‍♀️

How more than half the time I remembered I had a quiz on the day of the quiz 🙄🤦🏽‍♀️

How somtimes I had a book in traffic reading whiles driving on my way to write a quiz

How there were nights I sat in my car after class and just  cried myself tired 😩

How I stayed up some nights praying for a miracle to pay my fees .

I have a vivid memory of one night after class retiring to my car thinking about how confusing that class was and thinking how little time I had to study for the next quiz and then almost immediately I thought about how I haven’t met my deposit target at work and how I was scared about my boss’s threat of a lay off if we didn’t meet our target ;and as I looked up , I saw some class mates of mine drive away from the car park with their newly registered cars .

And I wondered when I will be able to afford expensive cars like those and after I watched about 4 cars drive away I started my car and it wldnt start and I immediately drove my emotions into a depressive 5 minutes good cry alone in my car at night , 45min drive away from home in the car park of my school mumbling ridiculous things at God about how tired I was and how he could be making situations better

And just when I finished crying I started the car again and this time the engine responded as if it heard my prayer and as I drove home that night I gave myself a good laugh at all the problems I have carved for myself that were so ridiculous to even worry about in the first place .

Looking back at these moments I can’t help but be reminded of how full circle life is .

How hard times aren’t permanent

And all the beauty we can discover from the process and how the knowledge shapes us

Smiling at how much of a show off God is

How ridiculous choosing faith over reality felt

But how amazing it feels when what you had faith for becomes a reality.






Maybe it was her mere presence It nurtured calmness and quieted wars 

It was water to lick the fires 

It was strokes of color 

On an empty canvas 
Maybe it was her smile 

It could warm cold hearts

 with strange attraction 

And light up the darkness

 with peculiar delight 
Maybe it was her eyes

They could reach into a soul 

draw out secrets nobody knew

And scale down walls that had

Taken years to raise with just a look

Maybe it was the sound of her laughter

It could gather ears to its music 

Slow speeding problems

To a crawl

And bring racing drawbacks 

to a screeching halt

Maybe it was the scars

 that tattered her life

They are telescopes 

to her once harsh realities 

They are maps to a gory past

They are the true definition of her beauty